Ethan Says

IF NAKED, KEEP in TOUCH with REALITY

If you're gonna dance around naked - even in your own home, 1) go wireless and 2) make sure your mom isn't home! LOL, so great! Via Ohlala.

You Can Never Have Too Much CAULK!

An oldy but a goody...I can't help but laugh everytime I watch this.  Click on the pic to watch!

What? Huh? In the Butt?

I think this just might be the gayest music video EVER.

Brokeback Gun

Oops, I mean...Top Gun!

Fancy a bum?

From BIG GAY FOLLOWING - BALLS OF STEEL
Hilarious Street Pranks

I Love Sweaty Basketball Players

So great. I saw this over on Marc's blog and had to share as well.

Locker-Room Etiquette for the Gay Man

What A Drag

What A Drag

Is that You Mom?

LOL- I laughed my ass off when I saw this...the cheezy outfits and music, the 80's-style/Flashdance hair-DOs, the teal and animal print leggings, the video editing - they were so spot on!  I remember, as a little boy, laughing hysterically as my mom exercised to 80's videos.  She'd even get mad and make me leave the room so I couldn't watch.  I thought this skit was one of the best SNL skits I've seen in a long time. 

Video Vault: The Croc Hunter, and Ross!

A little something from the video vault...I just love this video, so funny.  Steve had such a great sense of humor.  And Ross, well...he's just funny all around:

Yo Soy Gay

ALAS!  I've discovered the reason I turned out the 'this way'.  Thanks to WorldNetDaily and Jim Rutz, the truth has been uncovered:

"There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular...

The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore...

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them."

UNBELIEVABLE!  Thank goodness I'm one of the lucky few who's penis didn't shrivel.  I have, however, noticed an increase in my libido!  Soymilk and cookies anyone?   

Jake is Dreamy

Jake's way of giving back to his biggest Brokeback fan base...

Dick in a Box: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

...saw this on SNL last week - Scott reminded me - and had to post!  The perfect gift - without having to make a trip to the mall!

FREE PEREZ! (for my sake)

So, Perez Hilton is being sued. And while news of the lawsuit against Perez, claiming that he's "used 51 photographs without permission, payment or credit, including images of a pregnant Katie Holmes, Kevin Federline pumping gas and Britney Spears showing her, um, assets," isn't new or even that much of a surprise, it has left me in a bit of a quandary about a possible career move I've been contemplating. While I'm not at liberty to discuss this career move in depth, suffice it to say that it involves Perez (even though he doesn't know it yet) and possibly working with him for a period of time. And while Perez and I sit on very different sides of the fence when it comes to how we portray our Hollywood "friends", working with him would still be a great opportunity beneficial.

Normally, I wouldn't really care about a lawsuit against Perez. Nor would I care if he lost. But, in this instance, because the reputation of the company I work for could possibly be damaged by forming a relationship with Perez, I'm left hoping that Perez comes through this lawsuit with flying colors.  But that's just me - being purely selfish.  Perez says he's going to vigorously defend himself while Perez' attorney, Bryan Freedman, says "Hilton has a legal right to make satirical or humorous use of newsworthy photographs." Considering what I've done to the pic (above), I can only hope I have the same right! At least my doodles are more than rudimentary.

For the complete story, click here.

Let's Play...

Donnie recently posted a picture of Wynonna Judd's appearance on the Rachel Ray Show - commenting on Wynonna's likeness of a drag queen.  So, I made this little game.  Can you find Wynonna?   (click on picture for enlarged imaged)

SHE HAS SPOKEN

Dr. Laura Schlesinger ( <--- in all her glory ), radio host and observant Orthodox Jew, was recently quoted as saying that homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr.Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.

"Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.  I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.  I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.  Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is anabomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don't agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27.  How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?  Lev.24:10-16.  Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Signed,   An adoring fan

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I LOVED THIS.  So much so, that I'm off to kill a goat and stone myself.  I deserve nothing less, for I have trimmed my hair above the temples, worked on the Sabbath, eaten shellfish, worn a variety of multi-fabric garments, and taken a man to bed.  Heaven smite me down should I ever touch the skin of a dead pig.  For this reason, I use a fork.

So sayeth Ethan.

Dick's Half-Way Inn

By day I'm a certified manhole inspector.  By night I'm a flaming gamer...that's right, I like to play with my joystick.  I work hard and play hard.  So, to treat myself for all that I do, I'm heading down to Dick's Half-Way Inn this holiday for a little fun!

Dick's is home of the giant cock - the largest in captivity...where rides cost only 25 cents!  It's also host to this year's "How Many Holes" contest - where contestants vie for the grand prize, a Queer Republic T-Shirt, by seeing how many holes they can eat in a day.  There's also plenty of queers at Dick's...but that's okay, I love homos.  That's right... I'm gay, and that's okay!  What? Who you calling a fruitcake?  That's Mr. Fruity Pants to YOU!